Is your partner ignoring you?

“Why does my partner (or my crush) ignore me? They don’t even look at me. Are my texts boring? Why do they always leave me on read?”

Many people find themselves getting ignored. On a wide spectrum full of reasons, there are two common extremes, either the person is really busy, or they simply aren't interested. It can be hard to tell whether someone is ignoring your messages because they don't want to talk, or because they are too busy. We'll be looking at some of the most common reasons why people may ignore their partners.

⌛ They simply don’t have the time

As bad enough of an excuse this is, it can be a valid one. Some people may think a relationship is not going well if the person they are dating does not have time for them. There are many possible explanations as to why someone might not have time to reply, and some of these reasons could be very innocent.

The problem with not getting speedy responses or regular phone calls, let alone the ask to go on a date, is that in return you usually end up feeling needy and clingy. This isn’t a great feeling at all, and could naturally cause you to push your partner away as a consequence of their negligence. It’s important to know that there are ways of getting this addressed and dealt with constructively, especially if you have seen your partner working long hours, constantly having to jump on emails, or exhausting their energy with meetings all day.

You must be vocal about how you feel and allow them to make the decision in prioritizing other things over you. If you feel their priorities are muddled up, you should let them know you won’t be happy and comfortable in a relationship where you are desired once in a blue moon. On the contrary, you might find that while your partner doesn't have time for you, they have plenty of time for other priorities like socializing with friends, using social media, and going to parties. If your partner enjoys spending their free hours doing anything but spending them with you, it's likely that they will continue avoiding making time for you, because their priorities are set elsewhere.

💔 They want to let go - but gently

In the end, it all comes down to emotions. They may be ignoring you because they want to be left alone but don’t want to hurt your feelings, whilst trying to balance their own needs. For a healthy relationship, both parties should be communicating with each other regularly. If this person is not responding to your messages despite the fact that he or she is active on social media, then it could be a sign of neglect – they may be ignoring you for selfish reasons.

The main reason people distance without the much-needed closure is usually because the other person doesn’t want to deal with the emotional outcome, particularly yours as it will be a strong and emotive reaction. It is important you confront your partner about the reasons for keeping you last on their list of priorities and get the answers you need in one conversation. This sort of scenario is always handled better face to face, so try to arrange a meet up.

✅ You’re being left on read, and there is a reason behind it

The first thing to know about "being left on read" is that it's not always intentional. People are busy, distracted, or just feeling overwhelmed by their own life problems, all of which can lead them to neglecting the people who care about them most. Sometimes being left on read can get dark and could even could be a sign of emotional abuse, especially if you have shared how it makes you feel in the past. It’s the fact that your partner acknowledges you feel ignored, unwanted, and worthless, and as a result gets a thrill out of feeling needed by you.

Being left on read has many negative effects on the ‘victim’. It can make people feel isolated and lonely, makes you question how much other people care about you, and could potentially escalate into deeper forms of emotional abuse such as gaslighting or identity erasure. This deliberate act of shutting someone out has serious consequences for the victim. Studies show that this type of emotional abuse can cause serious psychological trauma for those who experience it, including depression and anxiety.

A life lesson to take with you:

As humans, we are living in a world where we should strive to be true to ourselves, but also put others first. Us humans are designed to find a life full of love. We crave the idea of someone who will love us unconditionally and be with us through our ups and downs, not just when it's easy or convenient for them. It is important that we surround ourselves with people who have the ability to care for us, support us, and give back to us in return because without these people in our lives we will never be able to truly love and care for our selves.

One sure way to find that ‘spark’ in your relationship again is to communicate consistently. This is what our ‘Let Me Know - Couple’s Edition’ card game offers in order to help create a deeper connection for you and your partner. We like to consider our card game a refreshing experience away from the digital world, and quite frankly the cheapest therapy session you’ll find. Want to learn more about the game? Click here.